| Epic Fail | |
| Buff Name | Price | Duration |
| Moxious Madrigal | 1 meat | 45 turns |
| Magical Mojomuscular Melody | 2 meat | 45 turns |
| Cletus's Canticle of Celerity | 3 meat | 45 turns |
| The Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith | 4 meat | 45 turns |
| The Polka of Plenty | 5 meat | 45 turns |
| Jackasses' Symphony of Destruction | 6 meat | 45 turns |
| Fat Leon's Phat Loot Lyric | 7 meat | 45 turns |
| Buff Packages | Price | Duration |
| Polka/Phat Loot | 300 meat | 45 turns |
Website Design by: Equestrian